Help your child learn to cope with conflict.

  • Teach your child how to ACT calm:
    • Acknowledge: angry feelings/changes in their bodies
    • Calm down: breathe deeply, count to 10, walk away, or find an escape mechanism (punch a pillow, run, play music)
    • Think and Talk: figure out ways to fix the problem; talk about why you are mad and how to fix the problem without fighting
  • If someone tries to start a fight, your child can be the one to stay CALM:
    • Calm down: keep a safe distance from the other person, take slow, deep breaths, stay alert and stand tall
    • Avoid: name calling/insulting and avoid other kids who may want to fight
    • Listen: calmly and figure out what the person really wants
    • Move On: find ways to solve the problem without fighting (such as through humor, reasoning, or walking away)
  • In the case that your teen gets into a fight:
    • Find out what happened and encourage open communication about it.
    • Help your child resolve the problem rather than allowing them to provoke further fighting.
    • Develop a safety plan for the future.
    • Support your teen in the aftermath of the violent episode by spending time with them and making yourself available to them if they’d like to talk about their feelings or concerns.

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